For all my lovelies in love! Have and make enough for me <3
A story of contact, your eyes would concoct
As they widen til bloodshot
No faking when
Your pupils dilate to take me all in
A story of contact, your eyes would concoct
As they widen til bloodshot
No faking when
Your pupils dilate to take me all in
A double dose of Mr. Legend.
John Legend always hits the spot…….
My muse has become blurred
As I try to regain what’s left
My body remains uncured
In my search to find what’s next
A shot of fireball to help forget
Reminds me that I’m an addict
Of a drug so dangerous
I’m losing sleep
Night after night
I’m in too deep
I resort to counting blessings
When I’m done with sheep
Something without a beat
My heart is doing enough
To put a drum line at ease
I can’t get my shit together
I can’t find my peace
I’m lost without a label
I can’t find me
So tonight I’m finally adding to the new things I’ve tried a whole seven months later. Hmm Where to start?… OH! I know! I went to Miami for the first time in June and had a blast down on South Beach. I even wore a 2 piece for the first time without a care of what others thought! (Which feels great for any woman.)
I also held Snappy there. Which was also a first for me. (yep I was a little freaked out)
I’ve participated in several 5k’s in the last few months with my partner in crime and BFFAF Steph. The fun part is she makes every run an adventure and motivates me the entire way through with her crazy singing and dancing.
We’ve been Cops and Robbers!
We’ve run with Hero’s!
We got a little dirty!
And at one point we were Fairies!
Every run has been an adventure!
I flew out to San Diego to surprise my dad for his birthday and the following occurred. I flew on an airplane alone for the first time, I caught a cab for the first time, AND I rode a motorcycle for the first time! Yes I checked off quite a bit in a short amount of time. (That is my dad’s space shuttle of a motorcycle. I didn’t drive it. I only rode on the back)
I don’t think I will ever grow tired of San Diego.
Next up I started doing a little modeling with the amazing Sam Lewis. It felt great coming out of my shell. (Though it takes me a while to do before every shoot)
Oh and I can’t forget! I finally got an edible arrangement! I’ve always wanted one and it finally happened! So freaking delicious!
I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last 7 months. I’ve grown stronger and have learned never to settle for less, and to always know my worth. It’s very important that in life you surround yourself with real friends. Real friends will make you smile at a time you think impossible. Real friends will not judge you no matter what you do. Real friends will hold your hand when you need them too, and guard your heart when you don’t have the strength to do it yourself. I would not have been able to push through the last few months without my amazing friends at my side.
I planted my feet and watched as my best friend Max’s three year old daughter ran towards me with her arms wide.
“How’s my birthday girl?” I scooped her up and twirled around in a circle with her in my arms. “Oh my God you’re getting too heavy for me to pick up!”
She squeezed her tiny arms around my neck. “Na uh, no I’m not.”
She was such a beautiful little girl, the perfect mixture of both her mommy and daddy. I remembered feeling proud and jealous of Nicole all at once the day Sara was born. The pregnancy had been hard on her and Max, so I was happy it was all finally over with for them. I watched from the corner as the two of them cuddled and cooed at their newborn daughter.
Honestly I had no clue how Nicole could handle how close my friendship with Max was. We grew up together, went to the same college and instead of us going out to explore the world like we said we would, we both ended up back here in this small town.
Max had settled. We both knew it, but neither said anything, because Nicole was a sweet girl. Sadly Nicole would never be enough for Max, but after today she would have to be.
“Where is everyone peanut?” I walked further into the house with Sara in my arms. In the kitchen I spotted Nicole placing a large cake on the island.
“Hey sorry I’m late.”
“Olivia! Yay you made it just in time!” She sat the cake down slowly and came over to give me a hug, squeezing Sara in the middle.
This was Nicole. Sweet, innocent, and … blind.
She was in love with being the stay at home wife and mother. Waking up early to cook breakfast, pack lunches, and spend the day doing laundry was what she lived for.
“Is there anything I can help with?” I plopped the little down on a bar stool and removed my scarf ready to help.
“Oh yes! Can you grab the small plates and those forks over there? The quicker we get this cake out the quicker I can get these folks out of my house.” She snickered.
“I want to help too!” Sara frowned from the bar stool.
“Oh alright peanut, you can carry the big knife.” I joked knowing Nicole would hear me as she headed out back.
“Seriously Olly, Is that what you teach my kid when I’m not around?” A warm smile came over my face as I turned to see Max walking down the hall towards me. I braced myself for the hug that was sure to come.
“Someone’s gotta corrupt this kid.” He opened his arms like so many times before and I walked into them. He turned me until his back blocked out little eyes.
“Mmm…” He moaned into my hair. Something he wouldn’t have done if Sara was still in the room.
“Hey beautiful.” He squeezed me tighter.
“Hey Handsommm…..” His teeth grazed the sweet spot on my neck and I gave him a second longer before pulling back.
“I want a hug too daddy!” Sara bounced on the bar stool until she had her daddy’s full attention. He turned to scoop up the rascal and I walked around to grab the plates and forks. I heard him initiating a tickle attack as I left the room and headed out back.
Out back I found your typical child’s birthday party. There was a bouncy house full of unsupervised kids screaming their heads off. Men crowded the grill, the women and older couples mixed and mingled about the yard.
I paused and took a look around the chaos until I found Nicole with the cake and headed her way. Half way there I ran into Mrs. Stevens.
“Oh Olly, you look as beautiful as ever.” She caged my arms into a tight hug and I tried not to drop the plates.
“Hey Anita, How’ve you been?” I asked.
I had practically grown up in the woman’s house. Anita and my mother had been good friends. My mother had worked long nights and crazy hours. Where she fell short the Steven’s would help her out. It was part of the reason me and Max were so close. Sadly instead of bonding more towards a brother and sister relationship, we bonded into a more fucked up one.
“Oh same o, same o. I think my age is starting to catch up with me.” She smiled.
“Oh stop all that, you haven’t aged a bit.” I lied. She had aged. Beautifully so, but she had. No woman wanted to know that though.
“Aww, that’s sweet of you child.” She smiled. “How’s the job going?”
I could feel my heart beam out, because I could finally tell someone my news.
“Great actually, I was offered a promotion last week. I think I’m going to take it.”
“You think? Honey, why would you have to think about taking a promotion?” She grinned.
“Uh oh, spit it on out.” Her grin fell.
“The promotion would require me to move ….”
“New York.” I braced myself and prepared for her to go mother hen on me.
“New York.” She spoke as if she was giving herself time to take it all in. “That’s great! Sweetie!”
I let out a breath and released the tension in my shoulders.
“Yeah I’m super excited. I haven’t told anyone else yet. I’m still letting it all sink in.”
“I’m so proud of you. I wish your mother could see you now.” She gave me another hug.
“Me too.” I squeezed her back this time.
“Whoa! What’s with all this hugging?” Max came up with Sara on his shoulders.
“Our girl is moving on up and thinking about leaving us.” Anita spoke out proudly before I could stop her. This wasn’t something I wanted to tell Max right now.
Actually, I was hoping to hold off telling him until everyone had gone home.
“What?” He looked over at me curiously. “What?”
I gave him a cheap oh shit smile. “I got the promotion.”
“Oh my God that’s awesome Olly! “ He pulled me in for a “friend” hug with one arm and held Sara tightly above his head with the other.
“That’s what I said!” Anita spoke out. “I mean New York isn’t all that bad.”
Time stopped. Everything froze in place as I felt every muscle in Max’s arm go stiff around me. I tried to keep a straight face as I smiled back at his mother.
“Okay everyone! It’s time to sing happy birthday to the birthday girl!”
Nicole yelled over the chaos breaking the temporary spell. Anita gave me one last pat on the arm and headed towards the cake. I looked up to see Max glaring down at me.
“Cake, Cake, Cake!” Sara began bouncing on her daddy’s shoulders.
“This is NOT over Olivia.” He snarled.
He was pissed. I couldn’t remember the last time he called me Olivia, but I knew he wasn’t happy when he did. I knew he wouldn’t be happy about it, but he would just have to deal with it.
I placed the plates and forks on the table just as everyone began to sing to the birthday girl. I looked up to see everyone’s eyes on the birthday girl. Well everyone’s eyes but Max’s. If I could guess I would say right at this moment he could care less about singing happy birthday to his baby girl. No, right now he wanted me alone in a room preferably with a bed so that he could chew my ass out then fuck my brains out.
I faintly shook my head at him and his jaw twitched right before his nostrils flared.
“Happy birthday dear SAAARRRAAAA, happy birthday to yooooouuuuu.”
I clapped blindly, my gaze still glued to Max’s. Like clockwork my body began to respond. I tore away my gaze and made myself busy cutting slices of cake and handing out plates. I looked up a while later to see that Max had disappeared.
Minutes had gone by and still no sign of Max. I smiled and nodded when needed but my thoughts were elsewhere. My phone whistled, signaling a text message. I knew exactly who it was from.
4:18pm – My office. Now!
I looked up towards the second level of the house, towards the window to his office. The curtains were closed, but I knew he was there. I tucked my phone back into my pocket and made myself look busy. A few seconds later another whistle rang out from my phone.
4:20pm – Don’t piss me off any further.
I looked around the party, hoping someone would save me by starting up a conversation.
I knew what would happen if I went up there. I was just about to text back when it rang out again.
4:21pm – Fine. I’m coming to get you.
Immediately I began to freak out. I wasn’t sure whether or not he had the guts to cause a scene, but I’ve never seen Max lose something that meant a lot to him.
4:21pm – No! I’m coming up
I responded quickly and started towards the back door to the house. With each step up the stairs my anxiety got worse.
His office door was open when I reached it. I stood on the outside of the threshold staring across the room at him in the corner. His hands were shoved in the front pockets of his cargo’s.
“Come in and closed the door Olly.” It was a command.
“No.” I don’t know who was more shocked at my response.
“Yes.” It was a warning.
“We are not doing this here Max.”
Three long strides.
That was all it took for him to reach me. He grabbed my hand and yanked me into his office. Closing the door then locking it behind us.
I stood still, staring at his desk as he came around to face me.
“What’s this about New York?”
“No!” He shouted and I jumped.
“Are you crazy? Someone could hear you.”
“Do I look like I give a flying fuck about anyone else right now? When were you going to tell me?”
“When I made a final decision?! I haven’t even decided if I want to go!” Dammit now I was shouting.
“But you’re thinking about it?” He asked.
I remained silent. He knew the answer to that, me confirming it would only make this worse.
“Answer me Olivia.” My blood began to boil at the change in his voice.
“You already know the answer to that.”
“What is there to think about? You can’t go to New York.”
“Yes I can, and I am Max.” I said it, but now even I wasn’t sure.
“NO!” He pulled me closer and I looked over his shoulder to avoid his eyes.
“Max you’re married, we couldn’t do this forever. I’ve got to move on.” I spoke quietly, tears threatened to spill over my lower lashes.
“What am I supposed to do? I need you.”
“No, you don’t you need your family, and I need to start thinking about my future.” I blinked back a tear.
He caged my face in his palms and brought my eyes to meet his. We stood there and stared at each other for what felt like forever. An understanding washed over me and he nodded. Within seconds I felt the sting of his fist pulling at the hair at my nape.
“You are mine.” He spoke out.
He gripped my hair tighter as he began to circle me. He stopped directly behind me switching hands and pulling even tighter. I could feel his breath against my neck.
“You’ve just decided without talking to me to leave me.” He spoke, but I wouldn’t dare reply when he was like this.
Using my hair he pulled my head to the right and without warning scraped at my neck with his teeth before sucking my sweet pot.
“You will never find someone to feed your hunger like me Olly.” He bit the same spot and sucked again.
“We’ve spent years perfecting this.”
He used his other hand to undo my jeans quickly.
“And this.” The same hand slid down the front of the silk panties he had bought me just last week. In just one move he found my clit.
I wanted to stop him, tell him not here. We’d never done anything like this in his house. His house was off limits it was a rule we had set after he married Nicole.
He rubbed my clit in firm circles then stopped. I moaned out in protest.
Quickly he spun me and took my lips rough and hard. I kept my hands at my sides careful not to touch as he backed me into the far wall between his wedding picture and a bookshelf. I placed my palms against the wall and took what he gave.
He snatched his lips away and stared down at me, his nostrils flaring and jaw still twitching.
He growled out and fell down to his knees in front of me. I felt him jerk my jeans down my legs right alone with my panties. I kicked off my Toms as he removed everything completely. His tongue found me in an instant. Still my palms remained against the wall. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to hold in the moans threatening to rip me apart.
He placed my leg over his shoulder and sucked at my clit with everything he had.
I couldn’t hold back anymore.
I gripped at his hair for more, and he gave it. Just as I felt my descend he pulled back and stood up, quickly doing away with his belt.
“I say when Olivia. Have you forgotten that already? It’s only been two days.”
I only stared back at him. He was angry and trying his hardest to break me.
He pushed down his cargo shorts and his cock sprang out. I couldn’t help licking my lips. Was I really willing to give that up?
I bit my bottom lip.
“Stop it.” I looked up to see him watching me. Max, the loving husband and father nowhere to be found.
He licked the tips of his fingers and began to stroke himself, I watched as his eyes glazed over. It was the most beautiful thing to watch.
I did as I was told.
He took my hands and wrapped them around his neck. His large palms found my ass and as if I weighed nothing he lifted me until my legs circled his waist. My back hit the wall again.
“Stay with me.” He commanded.
Still I did not respond.
I stared into his eyes as he entered me in one long and slow stroke. Slowly and quietly he pumped into me over and over, our bodies so familiar with each other I wanted to cry. My mind flashed back to the first time he kissed me on his mother’s couch, and the night he took my virginity in my mother’s basement.
I felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks as his hand found my throat and squeezed just enough to force me into full submission.
At his command my body responded with my back bowing off the wall and into his chest. His lips found mine stopping my scream before I could wake the dead.
Using my hair he yanked my head back, licking up the column of my neck before growling out his release. He growled out and held me tight as we both fought to catch our breath.
It was going to be hard to leave Max behind.
But that was the problem with having your best friend as your Dom for ten years. I made him feel more powerful than his wife ever could, and with Max I was free and I trusted him with my mind and my body. Over time we had become indispensable to each other.
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Part time actor, aspiring writer of poetry and prose and full-time idiot with a heart.
what if words could be symphonies, and people the orchestra?
29 year old dude tumbling through life's obstacle course...
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